US 1 and Sunrise

     At the intersection of US 1 and Sunrise Blvd, in Fort Lauderdale, is a hotel called The Link Hotel. This place is one of the few tweaker hotels as I started to refer to them as. A hotel where meth is widely found. The Link Hotel was one of those that I was frequently staying at or traveling to for drug reasons. This was a period in my life where I was selling drugs on the regular. 

    In the span of maybe six months, I found myself staying at the Link Hotel five out of the seven days in a given week. I was able to pay for this with the drug money I was making. There was time I was staying there alone with company, and there were times I was staying there with my family I've made. I was always high. I was never alone. But I did make friends while doing this.

    I became closer friends with my drug dealer, BJ. I made friends with people who were regulars of the hotel too. My neighbors. I was closer with my friend who lived in sober housing. My relationship with Mary is still nourished well even though I don't see her everyday like I became accustomed to. My life was going well I felt. 

    Me being around the hotel property as regularly as I was did draw attention from the hotel staff though as well. I was never in trouble or anything like that. The hotel knew what was happening under their noses. They knew that I knew other people around the property. I became the liaison for the meth community in communications with the front desk. If something happened overnight that drew their attention to one of the tweakers, when I went to the front desk to renew my room, they would ask me to address this with the person. This happened a few times in the six months I was staying there. 

    I met some lively characters while I was staying at The Link. All of which I did drugs with them and often sold them some too. I was living my best life. I was happy most of the time. Even though what I was doing was out of the ordinary, I still felt happy. 

    One night, I was staying in the suite on the third floor. I invited my friend who lived in sober housing to come by and hang out. BJ was coming by to drop of my reup. And I had a couple of friends over who I was smoking with. When my sober friend showed up there was three people already there hanging out, but he said he still wanted to stay and hang out. At this point, I knew he didn't smoke meth anymore, so I knew not to offer him any. But there I was offering him G, which he proceeds to actually do a dose with me. At the time I didn't feel bad for pressuring him to do this, I was happy he did it with me. Something that would bring us closer I thought. I would soon regret that pressuring I did to him and smoking around him. 

    I continued staying at The Link Hotel for about a month after that night. In that month, I, from a distance, watched as my friend spiraled down the rabbit hole. I was witnessing this from a distance because that night when I re introduced drugs back into my friends system, my friend was getting flirted with my one of my friends. I started to get jealous. So extremely jealous to the extent that I caused my friend to leave with my other friend. He stopped answering my calls and texts. Avoided me as much as possible.

    He talked to me a handful of times. Enough to tell me that he failed a drug test at his sober house and got kicked out. He started using again. And I am the one who felt so much guilt for this for bringing drugs back into his life. I was heartbroken. This boy was someone who I was getting really close to, close enough to want a relationship with him. And now, I became invisible. 

    I find out later, that he ended up starting doing heroin. On his first time shooting up, he overdoses and dies. 

    What is the worst thing though is that due to all of my abuse on my mind with drugs, I have forgotten my friends name. That haunts me.