Losing Car

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     In November of 2018, I lost my car. It got repossessed. 

    But before I get to that part, on of my most memorable moments that involved me and my car, was the day I came to a realization. The realization that I was addicted to Crystal Meth. 

    I was driving home from working a shift at On The Border, listening to a EDM dj that I just discovered a few weeks earlier... during my EDM music kick I was having because I was about to go to EDC Orlando. I don't remember if it was October or November that EDC Orlando was... but it was right before my car got repossessed because I do remember I had my car at the time of the festival. Because I paid 15 dollars to park in the grassy patch of a gas station... TWICE. Two days in a row. 

    Then, this song, that I never heard before, came on. It was "Take You Down", by ILLENIUM.  Instantly I started to cry when the lyrics "Sometimes I get so high, falling is the only out I see. And I don't want to take you down with me." processed through my mind. I broke down and had to pull over on the side of I-4. "I know that you won't understand, but you need to let go of this hand, because I'm going down, and I don't want to take you down with me." 

    I became a mess out of nowhere FROM A SONG. I advise you to hear this song, then maybe you will understand a little more about me and my story. I've broken the 3rd wall... or whatever that concept is called. 

    The reason why I told you this backstory, yep, another one, is because I wanted you to understand that my car was more important than just being what got me from A to B... It was an extension of my home. 

    I have already moved from West Orlando... up to Oviedo with my best friend in the world (she moved from Asheville, NC which is where we first met years before. she moved in where I lived in West Orlando not long after my ex boyfriend  and I broke up)... then all the way down East Colonial... near UCF. And from there, in with a Marine veteran. 

    The time period I lived with the Ex Marine was officially the decline of my "normal" existence. This is when I lost my job, lost my car, and lost my home. All in the span of 4 months. 

    My car got repo'd first. 

    I knew that it was going to be coming up. I hadn't paid my car note in months. I was behind over a thousand dollars on it. This was when the paranoia first started for me. Started off small. Sometimes when I was at work, I would see cops pull up to eat at On The Border. A few time I had to wait on them. My mind would wonder before they came in or even if some cops pulled up and parked in the lot, I would think that they were there because of the repo. This was the hardcore side effect of drug induced psychosis. That got a thousand times worse for me throughout the years or using crystal meth. 

    My car got repossessed overnight. I was asleep believe it or not. I woke up the next day to go to work... and discovered my car gone. I was lost. Little did I know, this would just be the beginning of the spiral down. 

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