Work

     I started using crystal meth when I still worked as a manager at a outbound sales call center. I remember this only because I remember telling my co-manager that I tried using crystal meth. I don't really know what compelled me to tell her this detail, must have been still high that Monday morning. 

    I worked for this call center for over a year. One of the longest time at a job that I have. But I eventually quit to peruse another option for employment. I decided to interview for a server position at a brand new, opening soon, On The Border. This On The Border was right across the street from Disney Springs, In Orlando. I was newly single. And now, Newly employed. 

    Also, I ended up picking up a second job, at another Mexican themed restaurant. PR's Taco Palace was in near the Downtown area of Orlando. It wasn't much of an issue with getting to and from work daily. When I had my car that is. It wasn't until losing my car did I lose my job at Taco Palace. 

    I didn't pick up the using of meth frequently for the first six months I worked in the restaurants. I think I may have done it two or three times in the first six months. It wasn't til at the fall that I began to get meth myself, and choose to parTy more frequently. Most of the time I just smoked by myself.. A couple hits before work.

    Going to work while I was high was horrible. I sweated the whole time. I was more spastic and energized than normal. I mean... it's pretty universally known what the effects of doing meth is:

1. Increased wakefulness

2.Increased physical activity

3. Rapid heart rate

4. Increased blood pressure

5. Hyperthermia (elevated body temperature

    All of this happening while I was working. Yet nobody even knew. I had grown so good at trying to hide my used, in plain sight. The only thing I didn't ever do, was smoke it in plain sight. I had that boundary. All others were gone.

    I first lost my job at PR's Taco Palace. I lost that job before I even lost my car. only a few weeks sooner. I had become unreliable to even show up for my shift. Always calling with minutes until my shift started, with some bologna excuse for not coming into work. This was not just at PR's, this was also at OTB (On The Border). 

    Once I lost my car, it became very difficult to get to work. I lost my car, I am aware that I have to move, and I was in the middle of my active addiction. I had friends from OTB that did so much for me during this time. And I wasn't seeing or comprehending how much these friends were doing for me. Hell, once I did become homeless, one of them would always be there to take me to a hotel in the area. Sometimes she even helped me pay for a room if I was short. I see now though, this mother of two, with two HARD jobs, helping me in so many ways, found the time and desire to help me during this time. I am forever grateful to her. 

    Eventually I lose my job at On The Border, after so much bullshit I put the managers and coworkers, my friends, through. 

    That would be the last time they ever see me or even talk to me. I honestly didn't ever think I would. Because my view on life had been changed almost at an instant. I now was viewing me just finding somewhere, someone, to stay with and was into parTying too. Grindr gets some credit there. ParTy hook ups are all over Grindr. Hiding in plain sight. 

    All I could see in front of me was two things. Finding somewhere for me to go for the day and night, as long as possible usually. And finding my next high. It was straight up tunnel vision now.